Attention! 229 people unsubscribed your email list today!

A Big Reaction! Hold on. Nothing has happened to yours yet. But if you want to see some notifications like this from your email marketing service providers, go for below tips and tricks to destroy your email list.

Why would someone want to ruin his own Email List?

well, it is a negative overview to what an average Joe would have been asked to do if wondering to know how to destroy his email list.

But if you care your email list subscribers like me, don’t follow these instructions.

Seriously, you’re going to learn

  1. How to be beyond the box ( Out of the galaxy )
  2. Spoil all your email marketing efforts
  3. Waste all the money you invest in gaining subscribers
  4. How to exclaim. Alas! watching your daily unsubscribe count

I am giving my reactions also. You can also send your reactions on twitter with the hashtag #destroymylist and RT @vashishthakapor

#emailmarketing #killertips

Destroying something is also an art. Whether you admit or not, It is all about discovering the other side of success.

I have been around these things and figured out why I could not get the open rate my email newsletter deserved.

1. Start telling what you’re doing & what you want

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Like: Hey, I am the cool dude no 1. I am one of the best writers around California. I was writing a book and want you to read it and become the first to download it.

Reaction: Yes, this is fair to write something like this about yourself but what about the readers?

If they subscribed, they might have been aware that you’re the number 1 writer around somewhere in US.

If not, let a newspaper reach them and notify about the same.

2. Do not get to the point early

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Like : I am just writing this book since the 4th of July and it was really awesome time writing and crafting it. I put my heart and soul into it and finally after an x number of days and y number of pages, I am here with my book. My book is about Brain enlargement. 😛

Reaction: I have got less time. There is another email notified me about my PayPal account.

Do not make me feel down for opening your email rather than clicking your fxxing newsletter.

Enough. What actually you want me to do?

Perhaps, this would be your reaction.

3. Do not tell’em their takeaways for reading

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Like: You are already done if you start your email like the sentences given above. However, you can keep narrating a story before telling them what’s there inside for them.

If I have subscribed your email list, there is a reason. I am not here to read your cock and bull story.

Did you Notice?

I told you your takeaways of reading this article. Still, you’re reading this.

4. Write for the Product, Not for Customers

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Like: Have you purchased XYZ Memory Gainer Tonic ( my imagination ) ? It helped me a lot in gaining good memory. This tonic does not let me forget things easily. I don’t know how but it really works. It is amazingly effective and surprisingly working.

So, Have you implemented all the tips given above?

ok. One more is remaining.

Do not focus on what your readers want to read. Focus what you want to make them read.

I know it is crazy but you can definitely do this to destroy your email list.

5. If you’re Bad, then I am Your DAD #myattitude

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Just be rude. use offensive words. And the game is over.

Be the smartest person in the room.

Your email subscribers will definitely do something throughout your journey to ruin your own email list.

and the last but not least. “Make professional mistakes like I did in the last image….”

Final Words and your takeaways

Finally, You learned

“How to Destroy your Email List.”

If you still ask my favorite email marketing service provider, MailChimp is the answer.

Was it worth reading?
Over to you for #discussions

Credits:

Design: Me
Colors: Google
Images: Pablo by BufferApp
Main Image: Piktochart